Hey Free Rangers,
Just as virtual type was setting on our last note, about having to send a bunch of F-U letters to the largely ill-equipped and incompetent distributor tier of this business, a cold call rep walks in the door. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before….
You ever spend a few hours that should be nocturnal staring at the ceiling replaying a conversation you had in 1999 with somebody you haven’t thought of since 2004? Yeah, me neither. Regardless, you might think you know true self-loathing, and then you hear these words leave your lips, “You don’t know who I am?” It wasn’t the point that needed to be made, but it’s what occurs when one is so profoundly disappointed in themselves simultaneously with blinding rage at how bad so many wine reps are at the their jobs (and how brutally they are set up for failure by their managers).
So, here’s an open letter to all wine reps and sale managers. First, you have our sales history, and the names of our primary buyers, so when you send somebody in on a cold call asking very basic questions, you’re already starting off at a significant deficit, rather than employing the tools at your ready. Then when you ask the 12 year, 7-day/week owner/GM what his name is, you should feel like an ill-prepared jackass before he has to tell you that. This being said, I was not in control of myself at that juncture, and when Nameless Wine Rep (I now know she is called Rachel) tried some sad generic honest feedback request, she was instantly caught in a caustic maelstrom of an angry words tornado. But seriously, everybody hates cold call walk-ins (EVERYBODY!) and you have (and/or can get with minor effort) the information to make initial contact less frigid. Example: If we receive an e-mail saying roughly this, we would likely respond much more positively, “Hey, I’m the new rep for this distributor you’ve worked with in the past. Here’s our current book, here are a few things I think are of specific interest. Can we meet to discuss and/or taste?” Maybe then follow that up with a call, or a fly-by.
I was so unmoored by the interaction that I called the company, spoke to her sales manager, Natalya, and asked her to please apologize to Rachel for my outburst before suggesting a better way to approach an account. I found out the structure of the company and both of their names with 90 seconds online and one phone call. I am not Daryl Zero. This is the information age. If you are going into the field without a full dossier, that’s a failure of leadership. Have any of you idiots thought about doing the most basic research before just walking into random shops unannounced? The bar is just so low. These are the two most common opening lines they use (by far!): 1) I was just walking by and noticed your shop. 2) I was at an appointment at a nearby shop and thought I’d pop in. – Do you really not understand how insulting and dismissive these notions are?! Your job is in sales, and I really need to be the one to tell you all that these opening salvos are saying quite directly that our shop was just an afterthought to you.
Here’s the thing, if you really weren’t going to contact us before you just stumbled upon us while walking by, please just keep walking. I don’t have the time to yell at you, and you’d be better off just taking a break and getting a coffee down at Absolute. Kareem is way nicer than I am. I get that the vast majority of sales work is based on volume: get in front of as many people as you can, and try to keep up with the industry standard percentage of successes. This is why so many business owners hate sales people. We really want to deal with producers and customers. Everything else is an unnecessary evil hazard of the industry, and the vast majority of you make the process as excruciating as possible (on yourselves as much as on us). The next sales rep who starts with one of those lines in here is going to get a deeply resigned deadpan, “Just get out.” Why should I put more work into my retort than you put into wandering in here unannounced and unprepared?
So, this week’s FREE in-store tasting is with our new(-ish) friend, Jess from Empirical Inc. She has shown with us once before, is deeply knowledgeable, and most importantly gives a shit (which goes a long way). These fine folks are producing truly unique sippables above a national booze landscape of retreads and pretenders. You really have to taste these things to believe them. Please join us this Thursday, September 26th (5-7pm) for FREE tastes of Empirical’s delicious canned cocktails, Empirical Can 01 and Empirical Can 02, as well as the delicious and unusual The Plum, I Suppose and the highly Instagramable Doritos.
All of the above are 10% off, or 15% off 6+ (mix & match), in shop on tasting day, and all week on the website here:
(!) Click here for Empirical sale page (!)
And wait, has there really not been an Atlantic Antic since we’ve been in the (now not so) new location?! Granted, my concept of time is entropic, but this formally glorious street fair has changed shape and time quite a bit in recent vintages. In most past years, we’ve spent the morning defending our space like feudal (futile) lords against the marauding drunks and litterers, and we’ve opened later for the evening wine & spirits needs of our fair neighborhood. This year, this Sunday, Derek insists that we open one earlier than usual and will be here from 1pm – 8:30pm. In all honesty, I may or may not be here at all that day, so please go easy on the crew. Best of luck to all involved, besides the weird and shady AALDC who used to run the Antic, but has apparently just been outsourcing the whole thing for years now. Very much unclear what their purpose is at this point, besides trying to make the Atlantic Ave BID clean up after them most days.
Cheers,
Jack
Proprietor
Free Range Wine & Spirits
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