Hey Free Rangers,
For those who have not recently checked in to see what condition our collective condition is in, the looking glass is about 17 light years behind us at this point. V Day was absolute chaos, though good numbers, almost out of nowhere (it hadn’t really been a thing on street level since the Before Times). It was a real volatile December 24th sort of vibe, with a bonus strata of underlying dystopian dread, multiplied by a distinct blade’s edge kind of urgency. Things have generally been a little off kilter since, like the preferred camera tilt of the Joker scenes in the ‘60s Batman TV show. People be freakin’.
Yesterday afternoon, an older woman walked in and was greeted by Derek and Jo at the front. She turned away, without a word, and walked further into the shop. Shortly thereafter, Jo followed behind and asked if she needed any help. To this the woman growled, wings fully extended extended for dramatic effect, “Oh finally, you acknowledged me,” by which time she had already turned to storm out. The woman stopped just shy of the door, and spun around to deliver a grand high, “I’ll never shop here again!” Derek, behind the counter, having not seen the initial outburst on the far side of the chilling machine that shall not be named, apparently lol’d, thinking she couldn’t possibly be serious. She was, and she stomped out the door. So Derek rolled back the surveillance video to view the sequence of events. According to the time stamp, the total duration between the woman ignoring her greeting at the front counter and Jo checking in with her at the back shelf was 20 seconds. We checked again. Yup, 20 seconds from entry to outburst. If you really just need to yell at somebody, and have no intention to actually shop here, please feel free to just shout at us from the front door and skip the subterfuge. You won’t be the first.
And now, TWO DOLLARS !!!
For those of you who have not been here for one of these, every bottle on the sale page linked below is no more than $2 above our cost and/or current wholesale replacement cost in our market, some quite a bit below, as we bought in a few of these ahead of major price hikes. Much of this stuff is here because we have to buy a good bit more than than we have shelf space to display to maintain a high enough SKU ranking with one of the monster distributors to qualify for highly limited bottles and occasionally barrels. It was through this absurd time/space consuming gamesmanship that we secured our own barrel of Buffalo Trace Bourbon, which should be here in the coming months. Others found their way to this list by way of inventory mishaps, like not realizing we had 2 cases of Buffalo Trace Wheated Mash White Dog buried in the cellar when I ordered another one. Who needs 3 cases of that?! … unless you happen to have an empty 3 gallon char #4 new American oak barrel laying around, and want to make your own micro batch of Weller Special Reserve (which would be super cool). Anyway, there is very little rhyme or reason to what you’ll find below, accept that the vast majority should all be lowest prices in town, if not on Earth. There are some serious cherries to be picked there from 30 bottles by small independent producers and big name brands, ranging from $14 to $349, from zero days aging to 26 years in barrel, in 375ml to 1.75L bottles.
Check it out here:
(!) Two Dollars! Whiskey Sale page (!)
And for anybody who missed it, or wants to re-up, last week’s Colene Clemens Oregon Chard sale page is still live, and we have a couple of cases left at those crazy discount rates.
15% off
25% off 3+ bottles
35% off 6+ bottles (+ 1 FREE Magical Mystery bottle!)
(!) Click here for Colene Clemens Chard sale (!)
Cheers,
Jack
Proprietor
Free Range Wine & Spirits
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