Story time Free Rangers,
A long time ago, in a galaxy far away- back when the stomach lining still had the fortitude and the brain stem retained the patience to intellectually engage a dyed in the wool Republican- I sat in the concierge lounge of the Breakers Hotel engaged in relative philosophical agreement with a donor level Bush-ite. He was a naturalized Austrian proudly wearing his fatherland accent, called Helmut, who was married to Susan Lucci. I explained that I’m an independent and expressed distrust in a number of prominent Democrats (though I have never voted for a Republican), and that according to the history books from school, I was a Republican on paper, favoring at the time state’s rights, smaller government, and individual liberties, but a party that effectively legislates these things doesn’t exist. About forty minutes into this fence riding, we agree that the size of government is a serious problem. So, I posited, “what administration is responsible for the largest increase in the size of government since the New Deal?” He rattles off a fistful of minor Clinton era actions, which don’t come anywhere close to the correct answer. I was mad at Clinton for other reasons, mostly for completing the dangerous bank deregulation that Reagan began.
But with Helmut it was important to stay focused on this one point of relative agreement, so I replied evenly, “No, not even close. The largest increase in the size of government by far since FDR [who I am mad at because of the unrelenting traffic on the East Side Drive bearing his name] was under your buddy, Bush the younger. It was called the Department of Homeland Security.” With an autonomic dismissive backhand waive he says, “Oh, but that was necessary,” like a turd falling into my drink. And that was the last time I wasted my breath engaging one of these disingenuous bastards. All these years later Hemlut is dead, and those with equivalent moral and intellectual flexibility hold the collective reigns and actively imperil what’s left of American democracy. Regardless, Susan was sweet, engaging, and unreasonably empirically attractive, but the company we keep says a lot about us, and she insisted that her old friend on the Island, the detestable reality TV host with terrible hair and no moral compass, was a good man because of the money his show donated to charity. I pointed out the obvious, that the thousands of dollars he “donated” was pennies on the dollars he was keeping in profit from that same endeavor. A good man would just donate the money outright, instead of using it to further enrich and publicize himself. We agreed to disagree, and I still offered her some of the legendary Pinot that was open on our table. She and Fran Tarkenton joined our New Years dinner that year. … Strange, indulgent days. … Wait, what was the question? … I need a drink. Who’s in?!
Now, this week’s FREE in-store tasting showcases all the latest from our single serving cocktail staple, Social Hour. Currently in the shop are: Yuzu Sunset Fizz, Cucumber Matcha Mojito, Spiced Applejack Crisp, Whiskey Mule, Pink Peppercorn Paloma, and the newest seasonal release, Mango Passionfruit Margarita. Please join us this Thursday, June 25th (5-7pm), for FREE tastes of all of the above. And enjoy these discounts in store on tasting day only: 10% off all, and/or 20% off Social Hour 6-pack (1 each of 6)!
So, (how ‘bout that Double Secret Probation tequila sale?!) every once in a while what should be and/or usually is a very limited, highly allocated product slips between the clumsy, sloppy gears of the big two distributors, and ends up in open inventory, where any fine merchant with decent credit (and/or a fat check) can claim as much as they like before too may others are the wiser. Such occurred fairly recently on Southern’s website, and the entire lot of an absolutely delicious rare tequila- finished in equally as delicious and rare Bourbon barrels- was snatched up before they could even attach a photo to the product on the site. We got most of it, and have since crushed a bottle here in the shop. So, much like when we acquired all those extra cases of Michter’s Barrel Strength and Old Forester Single Barrel before, we’re dropping the price to what we would like to charge if supply and demand weren’t a thing (as supply is all of sudden unprecedented) on Corazon Expresiones Anejo Tequila Weller CYPB Barrel Finish. This balanced, elegant spirit dwelled for two years in the second fill barrels of one of the most sought after Bourbons of our time. Usually, $189 it is available here and now at $109 per bottle only by replying to this very e-mail! It is not available online nor in the shop at this price. As an added bonus, how ‘bout some Fortaleza on sale?! Please check out the prices below, reply here and let us know what we can grab for you!
YOU MUST REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL TO SECURE BELOW PRICING!
sale: retail:
Corazon Expresiones Anejo Tequila Weller CYPB $109 $189
Fortaleza Blanco Tequila $79 $99
Fortaleza Reposado Tequila $119 $139
***Sale bottles will be allocated first come first served, via this e-mail only!
Cheers,
Jack
Proprietor
Free Range Wine & Spirits
P.S. Free Range E-mail Archive
