So Free Rangers,
Yelp used to be the bane of our existence, generally siding with faceless strangers, and their often baseless lies, over hardworking small business owners and operators, by design. But nobody really uses that godawful site anymore, and Google has taken the mantle of allowing unchecked, untrue, and/or unhinged slights with almost no possible recourse at all (though Derek was able to get one flagged and removed for vulgar/violent language). So depending on the severity and the tone, we generally reply to the poster in attempts to either reason with, or shame them into removing in. Our latest 1-star review online looked like this:
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Jordan DeLoach
1 review • 0 photos
I’ve never been kicked at by an employee before. First time (context: tried to look in the wine fridge)
To this, I replied thusly (and he deleted his review immediately):
Context: our fridge is behind the sales counter (and cash register), which is clearly marked as NOT a public area. Jordan, you didn’t seem to notice that you were standing on top of a large floor decal shaped like a stop sign which reads in bold red and white:
STOP
RESTRICTED AREA
AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY
On the wall directly above are 6 signs in two languages displaying basic phrases such as, “Staff Only”, “Do Not Enter”, and “No Standing Area.” You walked by them all. It seems you can speak code, but apparently can’t read English (or Spanish).
Try going behind the sales counter at Macy’s, or your local corner store, or the bank, and tell me how that goes for you. Our team member was sitting down on a break and raised her foot between you and the cash register because no customer is allowed back there. I stand by her actions. There’s always some entitled jackass who thinks the rules don’t apply to them. Today that was you, Jordan DeLoach, (Engineering at Scaled Cognition | ex-Twitter, Microsoft). A decent person in your shoes would apologize, and would be welcome to come back.
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Seriously guy, you can’t possibly think that pulling down your review would stop us from publicly shaming you further. I am not going to write something as fun as that reply without getting a little more mileage out of the content. But in all seriousness, just read our signs, don’t be a dick to our team, and you’re welcome to shop here. No hard feelings.
Good times. So, anyway, Free Rangers, welcome to our very first (and likely only) Whiskey COST SALE! This is the most absurd sale we’ve ever offered. The MOST you will pay for any item on this sale page is our wholesale COST! I have a whiskey buying problem which has caused some overcrowding on our shelves, and you are the beneficiaries of the fat we’re currently trimming. Since we’re paying the processing and credit card fees (not to mention man hours and cost of keeping the lights on), we’re actually losing money on every bottle, so we are not kidding about this: NO QUESTIONS ANSWERED. We aren’t profiting a dime on any of this, and can’t be expected to expend further effort to sell them. THIS IS AN ONLINE ONLY SALE! To get the sale page pricing, you MUST ORDER ONLINE. As usual, full conversations are available for any and all products besides these particular sale items. There are some really tasty bottles in here and several are fairly new high end releases. You don’t have to sacrifice quality just because we’re clearing space, and you get to pay the lowest retail price in the world. As bottles sell out, they will be replaced by new COST SALE items, so probably worth checking back in now and again during the week. Highlights include Taconic Rum Cask Bourbon, Woodford Reserve Batch Proof, Balcones TX Bourbon Gift Set, Blue Run High Rye Bourbon, Hudson Short Stack, Alfred Giraud French Malt Whiskey, Jack Daniel’s Triple Mash, and Larceny Barrel Proof Bourbon Batch C921!
Check out the full list below:
(!) Click here for Whiskey COST SALE page (!)
Happy Hunting,
Jack
Proprietor
Free Range Wine & Spirits
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