Ya Know Free Rangers,
I was in the midst of a fun chaotic paragraph full of sound and fury, but this week has already been a real one, even by current shitshow standards, and all creativity has been derailed. Mondays usually find Derek and I in a relatively quiet shop, dealing with orders/ordering, inventory, and website related endeavors. Above the usual, my right hand is still in rough shape, and left arm is having its own degenerative issues, leaving this machine with zero fully functional arms. Which is why I was in the back cataloguing release dates on various Weller bourbon(s), instead of hauling the boxes out to our sorting spot in the main room. And the first Free Range customer interaction of the day went like this:
Random Guy [walks in]: What’s with the whiskey sale on your sign?
Derek: You mean the one that says, “Online only, and then says, ‘yes, seriously, online only’ and shows a QR code? It’s online only. So, you have to order online.”
RG: Why is that?
Derek: Well, since we’re not making any money on these bottles, we don’t feel that we should put any further work into selling them.
This is the short version. Both Derek and I tried to engage him about our whiskey program and show him some of our exclusive releases, but he only had more questions about the sale. Derek explained to him again that he needed to pull up the QR code, and make his purchase online, which would then be fulfilled in a reasonably timely manner. He begrudgingly did this, only after walking over to the sorting table- the only place in the shop where products have no price tags- and began picking up random bottles, forcing Derek to stop what he was doing to deal with that too. Then he stood at the counter and stared at us until I went to the cellar to retrieve his bottle. A real charmer.
Within the hour, another guy comes in. Says he hasn’t been to the “new” shop yet (which is rapidly approaching a year old), so I walk him around and show him the new lay of the land as compared to the plan at the old shop, for which he thanks me. Then while Derek was in the cellar and I was helping another customer, this jackass just starts wandering behind the sales counter. He ignores my, “hey, where are you going?”, and is now standing on top of the STOP sign on the floor, so I raise my voice, “Bro, what are doing? Please come out of there.” He starts babbling about the fridge and that he wanted to see what’s cold- even though he clearly wasn’t going to buy a bottle today- to which I give him the usual rundown that all white, pink, and bubbles on the main wall are available cold, and anything on the back wall with a blue sticker. He barely responds at all, and clearly still hasn’t seen any of the signage under his feet or on the wall directly in front of him (from knee to over head level). As he turns to leave without another word, I realize that his actions here are a fairly obvious indictment that he was clearly one of the jackasses who went right for the fridge at the old joint every time, which is exactly why the fridge is now no longer in a public area. “Are you kidding me?” are the only words I could muster at the last wisp of his hasty retreat. Could I have handled that better? Sure. But should I really have to?
While these guys are far from the usual, when they come in succession they can really drain one’s will and resources. Genuinely unsure what has transpired since, or how long ago that was, but Tuesday was a two steps back kind of day. Seems like a lifetime ago, some other era, burned out and long gone from the brutish realities of this foul year of our lord, 2024.
So, the completely absurd Whiskey Cost Sale page is still live, and there are once again new bottles top be found there, including the Nikka single distillery releases that our aforementioned hero above picked up. Recently added bottles include Blackened Cask Strength Rye, Nikka Yoichi, Dickel 17yr, 1972 Full Proof Bourbon, Heaven’s Door Revelation, Templeton Tequila Cask, Blue Run Trifeca, Blackened x Rabbit Hole, and many more! You certainly deserve these deals more than that humorless schmuck, so check it out below:
(!) Click here for Whiskey COST SALE (!)
This week’s FREE in-store tasting welcomes back to the shop our old friend, Allie from Wilson Daniels, and our go-to Etna Bianco and Etna Rosso by Benanti, as well as an all-star player to be named later. So, this Thursday, July 25th (5-7pm), please join us for FREE tastes of Benanti Etna Bianco, Benanti Etna Rosso, and a modest intro level bottle from a renowned Burgundy producer, Leflaive Macon-Verzé 2022. As an added bonus, all 3 of the above are available on our website at 10% off, or 20% off 6+ bottles (mix & match).
(!) Click here for Benanti (and Leflaive) sale page (!)
Cheers,
Jack
Proprietor
Free Range Wine & Spirits
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