Whoa Free Rangers,
Exhaustion has taken hold. We here at Free Range are plowing through holiday season, heads down, nose to the grindstone (whatever the hell that means), deep in the weeds, and moving mass units (by our standards- a blip on the radar of a big box store). This seasons unearned indignity came when some idiot with way too much time on their hands engaged with a couple of other idiots who talk about hip hop and sports online for a living. The result is a slew of fake online reviews by barely literate morons, employing the modern digital equivalent of ‘90s urban rednecks yelling, “Stern Rules! Bababooey, Bababooey!” anytime they happen by a rolling remote uplink news camera crew. While we never thought anything would be worse than Yelp for small businesses, at least Yelp allows one to flag and respond, and generally takes down “reviews” that are clearly not about an actual customer experience (though they’ve undone their previous ban on personal attacks- apparently vitriol ups total engagement). Google only allows one to click a box to flag a fake review, with no opportunity to explain. There’s been a 1-star review online for us for years now because some idiot doesn’t understand the difference between AM and PM and accused us of not being open during posted hours (it was 1am, we have never once posted an open time beyond 10pm). So when half of these extremely online halfwit followers of some random podcast leave a 1-star rating without a single word, there is nothing to point to even to have them considered for removal, even though the time stamp and previous frequency of reviews would directly demonstrate a notable anomaly, even to a mindless algorithm. It’s so much easier to tear something down than it is to build something. The idiocracy is upon us, and our computer overlords think it’s freakin’ hilarious (#doomed). Here’s a joke: How many small businesses need to be crushed to properly grease the unrelenting gears of a multi-billion dollar corporation? The answer is blowing in the wind…. Too dark?
Now, thanks to everybody who has joined us to enjoy our weekly (free) in-store tasting program this year! And to those who have wished us ill and/or facetiously “good luck”, well, here we are at the corner of Atlantic & Hoyt with all of our friends, family, and loyal neighborhood folks (and their dogs!) standing by what we do. (#ByeFelicia) We had some fun, and poured some insanely rare juice, over many an intriguing notion and/or worthwhile conversation. No tasting party this week as we’re on hiatus for the remainder of the year, and likely the first few weeks- if not first month- of the one coming up around the corner. Seems to be a record-breaking year for our sales, and we can’t thank you all enough! You are the only thing standing between us and the maelstrom of above discussed idiots, and their podcaster marionettists. It really is getting harder and harder to make an honest living out here in the desert of the real. Here’s to doing it all again (and hopefully some fun new stuff) next year. Stay tuned. Cheers to you all!
So, Derek pointed out that last week’s Schramsberg in-store tasting was the first in forever where we didn’t also offer an online sale- it got a bit lost in the mix. So, for those of you pondering your bubbly situation for the remaining days of 2024, here’s a link to 10% off, or 20% off 6+ bottles (mix & match) of Schramsberg Mirabelle Brut, Schramsberg Mirabelle Rosé, Schramsberg Blanc de Blancs 2021, and the legendary J. Schram (Blanc de) Noirs 2013 and J. Schram (Blanc de) Blancs 2014. This sale is ONLINE ONLY! Check out that sale page here:
(!) Click here for Schramsberg sale page (!)
And we’ve left live the crazy 6 x 6-packs sale page from before Turkey Day, at least a couple of each are still available here. P.S. We’re currently out of the Brittan Pinot Noir, which should be back in stock tomorrow or Tuesday, and that pack will be fulfilled as soon as we receive. All others are available right now! Check it out below:
(!) Click here for 6 x 6-packs sale page (!)
Cheers,
Jack
Proprietor
Free Range Wine & Spirits
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