Spoke too soon Free Rangers,
This last Saturday was a long one, not terrible, just a lot. Numbers were solid, our crew was on it as usual, but it was a lot of people to get those numbers, and the most oblivious always seem to wander in toward closing time, as if they’re the only customer that has ever been (and I hadn’t been 9.5 hours into my shift). But let’s take a step back. We’ve developed some internal visual indicators so that the whole team here knows what’s up with availability on our main wine wall based on either a small round blue sticker- indicating that the shelf is empty, but at least one bottle remains in the fridge- or the small stickie note over the name/price tag- telling us that it’s out of stock entirely (very common on weekends). So, this long time regular-ish comes in, not a bad person, but not a friend either. Now, we have nothing against people who like to hang out in here killing time to their own end, but it does become a bummer when that person also has a child with them who they ignore, which means we have to keep an eye out and gently point out to the adult when the child is about to pull a bottle down, or tag off the shelf. In an unprecedented turn of events, it was mom who peeled a tag off rather than using her words like a big girl, or considering that I had just explained that the wine in question is out until next month (which is also written on the tag she’s molesting). Her kid sees this from across the sales floor and one can almost hear the fantastical glee with which the cartoon lightbulb over his little head pops as he immediately finds his own tag with a sticky note over it and begins to peel it away, just like mom who is still dismantling one of her own. I look at her and ask evenly, “can you please not fuck up all my labels?” She motions toward the kid and tells me that there are other ways to say that. She’s right. I should’ve said, “Now I know where he gets the idea that it’s okay to fuck up all my labels.” But I can tell where this is going, so in the previous subdued tone, “I apologize,” and turn to go get some work done in the cellar.
The crew tells me that she continued to take her sweet time before bringing a bottle to the counter where she tells them that she’s never coming back here again because of how I had spoken to her kid. [insert record scratch about here]. But I never addressed the child at all. The most basic of deductive reasoning- besides that I was looking directly at her (and the boy was on the far side of us, and much closer to the ground) when the words left my lips- would lead any reasonable sentient adult to understand that I was speaking to her. But apparently, like Tobias Fünke remedially explaining the concept of denial to Lucille, this woman simply couldn’t conceive of someone questioning her behavior, so she apparently projected that onto her kid. It was she- not the child- who was the key to easing my pain. “Pick yer battles,” (my) Mom always tells me. And this would have been a sad little hill on which to die. Besides, if you are unaware of yourself and dismissive of the world- and humans- around you, well, you’re probably raising a child to grow up similarly insufferable. And if you’re going to take a principled stand to never give us another penny, its impact is certainly undercut by hanging around and purchasing a bottle now. Wait… principled stand starrrrrrrrrrrts, now! Poof. … I can promise that she’ll miss us before we miss her, and that she’ll likely do what so many have done after storming out before her, having declared threat and/or ultimatum: start trickling back in a few months from now, like nothing ever happened. And that’s fine too. Not cool, but fine.
Now, this week’s FREE in-store tasting showcases the latest releases of long time shop staples Brittan Chardonnay and Brittan Pinot Noir from the glorious rolling hills of Oregon. We can’t say enough about the quality per dollar involved in these immaculate Burgundian expressions, except to say that we drink a lot of them ourselves (and we get to drink pretty much anything we want). There’s apparently a medium priced Bordeaux being thrown into the mix, a St. Emilion I believe, but you’ll have to ask Derek who selected it, or just come down here and drink some with us for free. So, please join us this Thursday, October 2nd (5-7pm), for FREE tastes of Brittan Chardonnay 2023, Brittan Pinot Noir 2022, and a delicious (Derek tells me) classic red Bordeaux. As always, all of the above are 10% off in-store on tasting day only!
Lastly, having very recently updated our stock of Sean Thackrey wine which is again all visible in one place, we thought we should offer some quantity discounts. I’ve written so often and deeply about Sean Thackrey and his profoundly unique bottled art that I rarely know where to begin, so once again, here is a wonderful snapshot by Chowhound’s Obsessives series: Sean Thackrey on Sean Thackrey. Re: the age of some of these wines, I have yet to open a bottle of Sean’s wine that is legitimately over the hill. While some of the older Pleiades are fully mature, all of the Orion California Native (ancient vine field blend), Sirius Petite Sirah, Aquila Sangiovese, Cab Sauv, Cab Franc, and Taurus Mourvèdre have several to many years left to age gracefully- even those from the ‘80s. These are genuinely some of most delicious and beguiling bottles on Earth, selling well below what their European counterparts expect. If you have questions about specific wines, please feel free to shoot a note, but we also expect many of these to go fairly quickly, so please check out the list and pick your cherries. All Sean Thackrey wines in stock are 10% off any 3+ bottles or 20% off any 6+ bottles ONLINE ONLY! ***
(!) Click here for Sean Thackrey sale page (!)
And of course, previous sales that are still live:
(!) Click here for Elijah Craig Free Range Barrel Proof sale page (!)
(!) Click here for Twin Suns Kosher wine sale (!)
Cheers,
Jack
Proprietor
Free Range Wine & Spirits
P.S. Free Range E-mail Archive
*** Seriously, please don’t pop into the shop with a list of these to be pulled on the spot. You’ll be waiting a while, and won’t get the discount!
