Que Pasa Free Rangers,
First, yes, the bottom most link on this page contains the 6-pack sale which led me to recommend to several of you not to buy some of these items today (as said sale page was actively coming together). No harm, no foul if you want to scroll directly to the bottom and get ahead of that. And no in-store tasting this week during Turkey Day chaos.
Now, welcome to the entropy based timeline. It is freakin’ exhausting, ain’t it? It’s always something. G-Holy’s eternal encompassing laughter (at the hubris of our puny human plans) has reached the exponential phase of its cacophony. Anybody find themselves constantly pondering two simultaneous full scale simulations for life going forward (running in the background), one for more of the same, one just in case the system finally snaps? Yeah, me neither. I’m sure it’s fine.
Real talk Free Rangers: It’s definitely officially holiday season as we’re seeing a stark uptick in people trying to “return” bottles without actually bringing the bottle back (which is to say 2 in 10 days).
Fact: Never once have we sold someone a bottle knowing and/or hoping that something was wrong with it. Our goal is always for customers to leave with the bottle that they really want, and enjoy it thoroughly. And If you think you’ve purchased a bottle from us that is legitimately damaged or flawed, please contact us right away, and bring the bottle back as soon as is reasonably possible. The most common flaws include a wine that is “corked” (shows TCA- smells like powdered cork, with a side of wet Labrador), or is cooked (has been exposed to heat- showing cloudy color, smelling a bit soy saucy), or is oxidized (assuming not a wine that is oxidized deliberately during vinification). A cork being difficult to remove, or breaking when you pull it, is zero indication of the condition of juice inside the bottle, so please leave it out. If the bottle is not actually flawed or damaged, and the wine just didn’t meet your expectations, then we’re certainly in a grey area, but only if that bottle was something we convinced you to buy. If you didn’t want our help and then didn’t like something you picked out on your own, well…
But if you think you’re going walk into the shop, tell us off hand that some bottle you picked up days, weeks, or months ago was “really sour” or “definitely bad” or “tasted like tennis balls” and we’re going to offer you a full refund on faith, please skip the insult and embarrassment to us both. But seriously, if you believe a bottle purchased here is actually flawed, please alert us right away via e-mail or phone, and bring the bottle back for our inspection. It certainly does happen, though fairly uncommon, and we do want to make it right. But unless you are a professional sommelier and are certain that your Super Smeller nose detects 2 or 3 parts per million of Trichloroanisole, you can’t possibly expect a vague notion to be fully refunded with zero physical evidence (if you are a somm, I’d to see/smell the bottle in question).
And even if you are trying to play this game, definitely don’t make me describe every whiskey on the shelf, and explain to you repeatedly that my taste and your taste are not the taste of your friend for whom we are shopping and therefore not relevant factors in the decision making, and then use the old “sour wine” thing regarding a previous bottle, assuming you’ll get some free money to put toward the gift bottle in question. You know who you are, and couldn’t have possibly thought that was going to fly as aside in another conversation, without any evidence of the bottle. And quite frankly, it was unfair to put me in that position. Next time, open with that (and bring the bottle!), and we’ll have a reasonable conversation about it. What other business in the world would you come to seeking replacement for a defective product without actually returning said product?! Otherwise, on the receiving end, it just feels like passive aggressive attempted theft. We offer a fairly high level of service here, and taking a 100% loss on a bottle because of a discrepancy in personal perception, without the opportunity to corroborate, is asking a lot, no?
Now, our Turkey Day week hours look like this:
Monday: 10am – 10pm
Tuesday: 10am – 9pm
Wednesday: 10am – 10pm
Turkey Day: 10am – 2pm
Followed by regular weekend schedule.
With the goal to incentivize you fine folks to get in early, and not wait until we’re slammed to come get your Turkey Day wine, we’ve put together 6 x 6-packs of top picks AVAILABLE ON THE WEBSITE ONLY! Here you’ll find a Pinot Noir 6-pack with 2 each bold and juicy Brittan Pinot Noir, bone dry Barda Pinot Noir, and a light and lightly earthy Bourgogne Rouge.There’s a Jean Dauvissat 6-pack showing 2 x Chablis, and 1 each two different single vineyards (lieu dit) and two different absolutely stunning Premier Cru(s) that just arrived. There’s a Volpaia Chianti 6-pack featuring 3 each 2021 normale and 2020 Riserva. Then check out our Seasonal 6-pack, Reserve Seasonal 6, and the not messing around Cellar Selections 6-pack! In these you’ll find delightful assortments of Turkey Day go-to’s at the highest quality per dollar we could find: Pinots and Zins, Cabs and Chards, and a little Beaujolais for good measure.
All 6-Packs are 20% off all, 25% off 2+ packs plus 1 FREE Magical Mystery bottle (wine or whiskey) which could be literally anything! If you’re picking up 2 or more packs, let us know in the notes at check out if you’d prefer wine or whiskey for your bonus bottle.
(!) Click here for Seasonal 6-pack Sale (!)
Cheers,
Jack
Proprietor
Free Range Wine & Spirits
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