Spring Cleaning & Cellar Selections Wine Sale (ONLINE ONLY) and FREE Brooklyn Kura Sake tasting Thursday!
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Hola Free Rangers,
First, there are dozens of kind neighborhood folks who compliment, thank, and ask us questions about the many shrubs, flowers, and trees that we’ve planted around the shop for every one of the following f@ckers. But it has always been true about the squeaky wheel. And in this case, he’s always the same, maybe three or four similar flesh suits per year at this point, though it seems the most recent khakass doubled or tripled up, but that information had not yet come to light. And this isn’t the guy who broke the curve in class through strength of intellect, he did it by tattling the loudest on smarter kids. You know the guy. He’s small, inside and out, and doesn’t get to tell people what to do very often, but it’s just his favorite thing. I missed the first part of the conversation, but Pasquale tells me he started off with, “I stopped in about this before a few months ago.” He had come in to a retail wine shop to complain about flowers on the windowsill on the 3rd floor above because, “Children walk along here!”
I tell him that it is not illegal and that those pots have been there for over three years, in hurricane level winds at least twice. It takes an incredible amount of force to pull something that heavy over the edge. To this he fires off his one rehearsed line: “It’s not a problem until it is.” Holding back the urge to throw something heavy at him- solely to demonstrate the effect of gravity on an object in motion- I calmly tell him that his opinion has been heard, we respectfully disagree, and that we’re done here. He doubles down. “So others have complained?” as if busy-body public opinion beats rock, paper, and scissor. “Yes, other people like you who have nothing better to do, and have no understanding of perspective or physics.”
Although, apparently he was the last one that was here on such urgent business, so only one complainer (of this phylum) so far recorded this calendar year, for those keeping score. And I try to give him an agree to disagree exit, but this tiny bitchy little man is still standing here, boldly brandishing his single weapon, “It’s not a problem until it is.” At this point I walk over to show him to the door, and follow him out around the corner to Hoyt St, pointing up to the pots, which are barely visible, though he insists that they are “hanging out over the street!” I suppose it’s possible that it appears this way from across the street (if you’re a hysterical simpleton), but if one puts their eye up to the actual brick to look up and assess, it’s fairly apparent that these things are securely on the ledge. But let’s pretend for a second that an object the weight of a clay pot (bolstered by the coefficient of friction between terracotta and brick) could be blown over by a normal breeze, do you understand how gravity works? It would drop straight down. So, unless a kid is standing up in our planters, hugging up against the brick wall, in a goddam hurricane, nobody gets hit with anything! … He blinked at this data and ineffectually parroted again: “It’s not a problem until it is.” At this, I caved and lobbed the F bombs for which he had been so begging that allow him to walk away feeling that he was in the right, but hopefully with enough of a startle that we won’t see him again. … So, who else needs a drink?
Now, this week’s ONLINE ONLY sale features a handful of end of bin/vintage wines from our $35-ish and under wall, along with some fairly serious ends from the cellar, at massive discounts. Here you’ll find delicious everyday priced favorites such as Three Zinfandel, Foradori Teroldego, and Chupacabra Red & Blanca by Maynard James Keenan, alongside serious cellar dwellers including three beguiling selections from Paolo Bea, Andre Mack’s Lamb of God Pinot Noir 2019, and 3 x Leflaive white Burgundies, all available to you ONLINE ONLY at 20% off everything, or 30% off 6+ bottles (mix & match)ONLINE ONLY!
And, this week’s FREE in-store tasting is with Brooklyn’s own, Brooklyn Kura Sake, who will be here pouring several local sake(s) and one local shochu. Please join us this Thursday, June 4th (5-7pm), for FREE tastes of Brooklyn Kura Ashokan Sake, Brooklyn Kura Blue Door Sake, Brooklyn Kura Occidental Sake, and Brooklyn Kura Shochu. As always, enjoy 10% off Brooklyn Kura bottles in-store tasting day only!
And The Big Whiskey Sale rides on for one more week! Here you’ll find some of the best prices of the year on 25 of the most popular and sought after whiskeys we own (including a few smaller producers)! Hibiki and Michter’s and Pappy, oh my! Any discounts that look lighter than others are likely that way as our regular price is already amongst the best in town (if not on Earth).
* And as always, if you’re out of town, please feel free to buy now while price is right, and we’ll hold your bottles until you’re back!
