Weblog: an Archive of our Newsletters and Sales

Well Free Rangers, The middle tier of our industry is crumbling, making what should be very basic transactions and interactions time consuming nightmares. I genuinely don’t recall the last time we ordered products, they arrived intact and on time, with no erroneous...

Hey Free Rangers, Re: the Neal Kvetch saga, after leaving his 1-star review, he came back in, but it was only to get my name right in his bitchy little review (there's a screen grab of the original in which he confidently calls me, Mark), and to show us that he bought...

Hey Free Rangers, Pretty sure the guy who just huffed out of here is on his way home to write a negative review, so I’ll just formulate my response here, and then adjust the next draft according to his own for the interwebs. We shall see. So, it’s 5pm on the dot on...

Ya Know Free Rangers, There are a lot of guys buying and selling barrels of whiskey all over the country, and we’re fairly skeptical of the practice. I haven’t been shy with my outright contempt for many of them, with their shady sourcing, and unreasonable dollars per...

Hey Free Rangers, *Apologies to non-New Yorkers for the exclusive nature of this note.* Let’s talk about the imminent primary election for Mayor of NYC. While two of the dumbest, thuggiest, more cops are the answer type 'D's (who look a lot like 'R's), are the highest...

Holy Hell Free Rangers, As most of you know, besides our love for dogs in here, we are also vocal and active proponents of planting and greening projects, which are literally good for everybody (as plants help clean the air). Half the fun of buying full barrels of...

Hola Free Rangers, Sorry for the late note this week, it’s been a _____ one (wrong answers only (which are likely all to be factually accurate)). I could spend the next 6 weeks’ e-mails on just the week before the hand chomp (and the next six on the banality of insult...

Damn Free Rangers, That week kicked my ass. Didn’t really expect to be writing this next note from the emergency room, but here we are. It’s been a rough year for my right hand. This was apostrophized when the terminally handsome ER triage nurse recognized me, and...

Hey Free Rangers, A bit behind on the correspondence this week, sorry about that. Generally, we’re profoundly lucky to enjoy the neighborhood and the customers that we do. But sometimes the universe lines up a series of aberrations just to ruin one’s day(s), and some...

_____ Free Rangers (wrong answers only), Scattered. Scattered squared. Factorial. The Ackermann Function. … Scattered like a fig leaf on an olive branch. No, that’s not it. Like a deer in the headlights on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams… on Mulholland Drive…. on the...